Butterflies fascinate me. How can something that starts off as a bug turn into something so beautiful? It is also amazing that this beauty is only unlocked after going into a chrysalis, diving into a dark home with no food, for more than two weeks.
So too with grief! We must find ways each day, to dive into the grief, the darkness, pain, longing, disbelief, extreme sadness, confusion, and numbness. Setting up our chrysalis for a specific amount of time every day helps us to meet our end goal of breaking free to fly in our changed form.
Diving into this grief is done through intentional acts of expressing our loss, mourning. It is through doing these intentional acts that you will begin to understand your loss, the feelings that come with it, and find hope for what is ahead.
Here are 3 options you can consider getting the many emotions of grief out through the action of mourning.
1. Feel: cry, scream, sob, lament, wail, weep…let yourself express.
Go to a place that reminds you of your loved one and picture them there with you. Talk to them.
Go through old photos and be ok with the emotions that well up as you think of the many ways you miss your loved one.
Pick up your journal and just start writing about your days. What are they like? How are they different now?
2. Create: build, paint, plant, draw, sew, cook, sing, write poems…let yourself make.
Paint how grief feels for you and what restoration of grief may be.
Cook a favorite dish your loved one use to make.
Build a memory box to put love notes to your lost loved one.
Plant your loved one’s favorite tree or flower and remember them when you look at it.
Write a poem describing your loss and the healing you hope to feel in your future.
Sew a quilt in honor of your loved one. Think through the different pieces of fabric you use and why they represent your love.
Make a memory book, scrapbook, or Facebook page in your loved one’s honor.
3. Talk: to a trusted friend, mentor, neighbor, spiritual advisor, support group
Share your lost hopes, dreams, and future.
Share your emotions, experiences, and trials.
Share your memories, what your relationship was like, and small daily details that are missed.
We must find ways each day, to dive into grief to eventually fly away in our changed form.
What intentional act will you try out to express your love and loss?
Navigating Loss Part 3: Healthy Distractions from Grief